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January 18, 2006
Lost, but Alas, No Dr. Jack.
Nursing school has been over for a month. I am completely stripped...of emotion...of compassion...of patience...of my resilience. I remember writing at some point that I felt like Bilbo: "Thin, like too little butter spread over too much bread." The butter is long gone. The bread is stale and moldy. Even the rats don't want to nibble it.
My brand new, exciting, wonderful life is stretched out before me and (pardon the horrible analogy) I feel like I've been freed from Birkenau and told to, "don't worry, be happy and get on with it." I am not able right now. I am weighed down with smothering darkness and it presses and presses and grinds and grinds. I feel no sense of accomplishment. I feel no joy. I think only God understands how tired I am, and I won't let him near me.
Posted by swift at 12:59 AM | Comments (1)