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September 10, 2005
Someday We'll Be Free
My mother left today to drive the five hours back to her home. She calls it her nest. I call it going to ground. My mother wants to have better relationships with her children and grandchildren, but doesn't want to do it in our world. She is retreating back to her 5 acres; back to her bed and her half-gallons of ice cream and satellite television. She is a broken women, confused and worn out by her life. Was she born a prisoner or did she live her way into her cell one decision at a time? In the end, will it matter? It is the third day for her. Her spirit is broken.
I am bouncing all over the emotional map: disgust, fear, grief, compassion, dissapointment, and fear:fear::FEAR! This woman is in every cell of me and it takes so much energy to daily distill the dross from the gold. I stare down the crazy cat lady in myself every day; the cat lady person that my mother is becoming (except all of her cats have died).
Heard this today. Wish my mother could hear it and take it to heart. If I sent it to her she'd read something bizarre into it, so I won't bother. I'll just listen to it again and continue to love her while being ambivilent with myself and look forward to the day when she is free of this world.
Someday We'll All Be Free
(Donny Hathaway)
Hang on to the world
As it spins around
Just don't let the spin get you down
Things are moving so fast
Hold on tight and you will last
Keep your self respect
Your womanly pride
Get yourself in gear
Keep your stride,
Never mind your fears
Brighter days will soon be here
Take it from me
Someday we'll all be free
Keep on walking tall
Hold your head up high
Lay your dreams right up to the sky
Sing your greatest song
And you'll keep growing, growing on
Take it from me
Someday we'll all be free
I said just wait and see
Someday we'll all be free
So just you keep walking
And you take it from me
Someday
Someday
You and me
We'll all be. . .
Free. . .
Posted by swift at 8:55 PM | Comments (3)