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June 19, 2005
A Decade In...I Have Arrived.
I became a parent 10 years and about a month ago; May 25, 1995. I hope that next year I'll finally have time to journal through those years and the path of parenthood I've been on. It would be kind to say that at times I've been ambivalent about being a parent. It intimidates me. It scares me. It drives me to new levels of humility. Often I wish I hadn't gone that direction.
Yesterday, yet again, Peace sliced away the excess fat of my parenting neurosis. With strength and sincerity he reordered my priorities and refocused my perspective. I'm just glad I was smart enough to listen.
Posted by swift at 6:10 AM
June 11, 2005
Story Shell Game
As I drive into work every Saturday evening I enjoy listening to Prarie Home Companion. That evening’s drive is always total enjoyment. The reason why has finally filtered into my conscious brain: it reminds me of the times when my extended family would get together and settle down into serious, marathon story swapping. I loved being a fly on the wall and listening. There was warmth during those sessions, warmth and laughing and connection.
I have none of that for my children. My life feels cold and sterile to me. I don't know where my stories are. How do I pull them out? Do I want to? Should I trust the huge holes in my memory and just let them be? I have a lot to think about once school is over; a lot to sort out. School has pulled my cranium out of my okole, and that is a subject for an entire new entry.
Posted by swift at 6:26 AM