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March 1, 2005
Bad Nursing Student, Bad Bad!!
Managed to be late for all four Psych Clinicals this semesters. Yes. All four. So, as a result I was given the opportunity to write an extra paper on TIME MANAGEMENT. I'm 47, a full-time wife, full-time mother, work full-time, go to school full-time, have ADD and my instructor wants a paper on time management. Sigh. Whatever. Here is my effort:
"ADVENTURES IN ADD TIME MANAGEMENT
Time means something different to people with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Within this group of individuals time is not experienced in the same way from day to day or even hour to hour. To them, time does not unfold as a linear event. Sometimes there are so many things calling to be done, so many things jumping up and down for attention that the ADD brain just stands stock-still and vibrates. Other times, one thing is just so incredibly fascinating that time and awareness of anything more than six inches away just fades out for hours. And at other times, time is supposed to suddenly be expandable and allow itself to be stuffed with three times the allowable amount of activities.
This is my life. I have ADD. Time is not the same for me as it is for people without ADD. Time is not even the same for me from day to day or hour to hour. When I was young everyone thought I was so pleasant because I just floated along in my own little dream world, but as I grew older and I was expected to follow through with growing responsibilities, problems developed. I started being labeled a person that didn’t follow through, that did things half-baked, a procrastinator, a great planner/lousy implementer, someone who would be amazing if she could just get her stuff together. Granted, people loved me. They thought I was incredibly bright and fun but such a sad case, so much wasted potential. Sad, sad woman.
So…what? Do I live out my days in mediocrity? Do I wear the label proudly and expect the world to make an exception for me? Should everyone just smile when I’m 5 (10, 15) minutes late because I had to do just one (two, three, or) more things before running out the door. Is ADD time management an oxymoron? Simply said, no. There are methods and tools. There is hope.
I’ve read several time management books over the years and even taken several time management courses. I knew I had a problem but couldn’t quite get what those linear people were telling me to do. I have tried various planners over the years and they have all quickly fallen by the wayside. I would get frustrated with them I lose them and go back to winging it. It is plain now and I have to admit and accept that the time for winging it is over. Whether a day planner is fun or not, it must be done.
Yesterday I found some helpful insight and tips in an article by Lew Mills, PhD, LMFT at http://www.millsconsulting.com/MFT/timeorganize.html. He stated three “nuggets” that I appreciate:
1. Know yourself and work with who you are.
2. Keep it simple.
3. Don’t fight yourself.
I think I’ve made progress on number one over the years. I already accept that I’m not Martha Stewart, Norman Vincent Peale, or Stephen Covey. I am just Kathleen. I have good days and bad. I have stock-still vibrating days and amazing get-a-million-things-done days.
I like things simple and straightforward. I was trying to make progress towards simplicity until I started back to school. Now my life seems to be wound up into the stratosphere. Nugget number three is the subject of an entirely new paper that I hope I don’t have to write anytime soon.
Everything that I have read in the past for general time management and in the past few days for ADD time management has a day planner as its base. All the scraps of paper, notes scribbled on pant legs, palms, note pads, etc. have to go away -- period. There can be only one place where your brain is organized. It can be a binder, a PDA, or a laptop but there can be only one. Especially important for a person with ADD is the concept that everything is written down or entered into the planner. Everything. Nothing is “remembered”.
Once you have a system that you are comfortable with, use it and refer to it frequently. This is the hard part for me. I love to buy the nice, new leather binder and pick out all the pretty dividers and pages. Then I can spend hours fussing with it: changing this, moving that. Then in a few days I get busy and it gets pushed aside and forgotten. Upon review, I like the Franklin-Covey method of sitting down with the planner in the morning to review the coming day and in the evening to review what happened and what’s coming up. I think that taking that time for myself twice each day will increase my focus and reduce my panic. And really, writing all those goals, tasks and appointments down and then never looking at them is just, well, silly.
Another important time management skill is the ability to prioritize. Any system can be used, i.e. 1, 2, 3 or A, B, C and so on. What is important is that you become aware that not everything can be or needs to be done at the same time. Huge or overwhelming tasks can be broken up into smaller, more manageable tasks. Unpleasant tasks can be moved to the top of the list to be dealt with or interspersed with something rewarding. All three of Dr. Mills’ nuggets really come into play here. Knowing how you work best, keeping your prioritization simple and not beating yourself when every day doesn’t go perfectly will help keep the whole process moving forward. During the morning and evening planning time tasks can be checked off, reprioritized, rescheduled, or removed.
Another tool for individuals with ADD that lose time (space out) is a vibrating alarm in a wristwatch or PDA. When the alarm vibrates you know its time to refocus, check your planner, or head out the door for an appointment.
While I occasionally lose time, my issue is often a case of one-more-thing-itis. I have everything ready to go in plenty of time to leave but then I have to do just “one more thing” before I leave: throw in a load of laundry, make the boy’s bed, throw a ball to the dog a few times, put the snow shovels in the garage, etc. Suddenly, instead of ten minutes ahead I’m five minutes behind. So, my solution is to now let all those “one more things” wait until I get home. The last few days it has taken some force of will to just walk out the door but my coworkers have been pleasantly surprised when I walk in the door a few minutes early. It’s nice for me but I am afraid that the dog is a little sad."
I ended with some kind of wrap up paragraph. It was lame. I feel lame. One of my study partners read it and told me I was a total and unrepentant kiss-ass. I think I'm just incredibly insightful. And so it goes.
Posted by swift at March 1, 2005 5:03 AM
Comments
You are incredibly insightful. And brilliant - you are brilliant.
And oh, OH how well I understand. After all, if wasn't my task performance that lost me my last position (that, apparently, was more than adequate), it was my time management (or lack thereof). And I can't just pin in to ADD (though I think that's in the mix) - generally craziness seems to rob me of ten or fifteen minutes here and there and everywhere.
Posted by: Kate at March 21, 2005 4:49 AM