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September 12, 2004
Brain Cocktail Update
Finally got myself ramped up on the Topamax sometime in the Spring, in the midst of my mother's festival of open heart surgery. Lost lots of weight, that was lovely, but the synapses just didn't snap. I think the hardest thing for me was I couldn't think of the words I wanted to say during a conversation. I've always loved words; the feel, the sound, the meanings, the power. My brain was just moving too slow. I had trouble tracking tasks and doing much of anything constructive. For someone with an underlying desire to lie in bed all day and wander around her mental fantasy land, this was not helpful.
So, nursing school was going to start in ernest in May. I waffled back and forth for a while -- mainly because I liked being thinner and because I had the spectre of a major car accident hanging over my psyche. Finally I just stepped off the cliff and ramped myself down. By the time I started Summer semester classes, I was off the juice.
So, how am I now, in September?? Fatter and happier and back to my endlessly chatty self. Don't know why but my moods seem more stable, at least to me. School may have something to do with my moods also. Learning has always empowered and strengthened me? So...is it Topamax residual or is it school?? Only my neurons know for sure, and they're not letting on.
Posted by swift at September 12, 2004 6:33 AM