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June 16, 2004
My Top Ten Reasons Not To Commit Suicide
So, here are Swift's top ten reasons why she has never offed herself (though elaborate plans have sometimes been made):
1. Don't think it would improve my life or anyone else's. Especially the people that would really, really, really, really miss me if I OD'd. There aren't many, but I know they are out there somewhere.
2. I've just got to see what happens next because the last 45 years have been absolutely hysterical (or was I just hysterical?? I can't remember.).
3. A life well lived is the best revenge -- and baby there are some people I want to revenge myself on.
4. Sheer, unadulturated, unabashed, onery, mule-headed, bald-faced stubborness.
5. Don't want to have to admit to God that I am a chicken shit.
6. I need to see Troy at least twelve more times so I can enjoy Brad Pitt's naked body over and over again. Don't know that I would be able to enjoy that in the Great Beyond.
7. I just can't bear to throw in the towel. Pride? Arrogance? That stubborn thing again?? I just don't know. All I know is that I refuse (REFUSE DAMMIT!!!) to let anyone or anything permanently get the best of me.
8. Karma, karma, and karma.
9. I haven't learned how to speak Spanish yet. I must do this before I die.
10. The spouse would get to remarry a wonderful, remarkable, gorgeous, wealthy, sexy, talented, BUFF woman. Now how fun would that be for me??
Posted by swift at June 16, 2004 5:33 AM
Comments
Received a comment, that is now lost, that my list was such dribble that it made the person WANT to commit suicide. Whatever.
It's a personal list created for a particular friend that needed a little cheering up. Everyone's a critic. sigh.
Posted by: swift at December 17, 2004 8:19 PM