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January 26, 2004
Momentary Sanity
Craziness and insanity. Did my usual post-holiday crash and burn. There is no joy in Whoville. Just stress that starts about Labor Day and gradually builds until 12/26. The family dynamics, the spending and all the other garbage. It's just a three and a half month stress response - still haven't figured out whether I should fight or fly.
Seem to have snapped out of my months of living in my own fantasy world. I don't know what precipitated the snap. I've started praying again, going to church regularly. I'm trying to stop running away from reality and deal with what is going on at the moment. It is very difficult and exhaustion. Withdrawing into that fantasy world gives my brain and psyche a rest, but it is so damn unproductive. Time seems to move 10 times as fast when I've withdrawn. I can lie down for a few minutes and those few minutes are suddenly 45 minutes. Anyway, I'm trying to once again be a responsible adult.
Was accepted to nursing school at the last minute. Great opportunity as my company is picking up the cost of tuition and books. However, I a completely freaked. What in the hell am I thinking? How am I going to make it all fit? When I finally have my RN and have doubled my current salary, I am going to take a break: weekly massage, mini-vacation weekends, reading just for the fun of it. That is, if I don't spontaneously combust before then.
Posted by swift at January 26, 2004 8:03 PM