Sometimes There's no QUESTION That You're in Kansas

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My Mother was in Kansas a few weeks ago, and she was helping Ashley with some "piece work" while they watched Sunset Tan (which is a peculiar and amusing circumstance all by itself, I must say). My Father called them (on the first cell phone of his VERY OWN - which is another amusing tale, but for another time) and asked what they were doing. This was Ashley's response:

We're making bull-sperm collectors.

And in case you're wondering: YES, they were. Oh, the ways to make a buck in rural Kansas... One day, if you are very, VERY good I'll tell you all about "bull fries."

5 Comments

Kate said:

Lil' Cragun, My Dear Friend Who I Have Not Seen in Many a Day, tried to post a comment to this entry and was foiled. This was probably because I’d managed to publish the entry TWICE (yes, I know – Of all the little entries in all the blogs…) and perhaps one of them was imaginary. I’m going to post the gist of his comment (this is how he emailed it to me – verbatim) anyhoo. He at least deserves that:

Tried to reply...but the lame ass spam guard won't let me post....I hate email. This is what I meant to post on the ole blog:

"Finally...a topic I feel comfortable with. They are great. I've been using one for years.....not automated mind you....usually requires the internet and a credit card...but I get what you're saying....about "bull fries"....changed my life!"

The comment stands alone (as does THE CHEESE), but I feel it necessary to make ONE retort:

Dearest Cragun,

It isn’t “lame ass spam guard”; it’s TinyTuring®, which, as opposed to “lame ass spam guard[s]” is simple and elegant. I’m guessing you couldn’t SEE the TinyTuring® because I’d somehow posted a mythological duplicate entry. For my Fairyland demographic.

Kate,

Personally I love your spam guard. I'd much rather type one letter than:

xyYGgJqgv

which is the typical variety of typing test I am usually faced with on other blogs.

On a side note, or perhaps a more related note, I for one am grateful for the bull sperm collectors and the hands that prepare them. It's not like we'd want that kind of stuff just lying around now would we? For crying out loud, someone could slip and fall!

Kate said:

I, having been desensitized to many aspects of - let's call it animal husbandry - throughout my life*, was still driven to "ROFL-ing" as those kids call it nowadays, by these comments.

Speaking of animals, this "dog" (from 9/23/2007 entry) made me have a small asthma attack (fear not - the kind one has when one is extremely tickled pink - but rather in this case red in the face).

As for TinyTuring®, I'd love to take credit for it's creation, but it's all Grettir's doing. That is why it's "simple and elegant."

If I knew enough code to do such a thing, I'd probably would set up a device whereby visitors are asked to compose a sonnet to allow their comment to be posted. ENGLISH, naturally, as opposed to ITALIAN. Oh - that’s FORM not LANGUAGE; please feel free to write in your native language. And I certainly mean no offense to my Italian friends; I just think couplets are SO CUTE. It’s a Shakespeare thing.


*I was going to elaborate (which, as anyone who had ever been here before could imagine and to which they could no doubt TESTIFY - a word that the law requires must be shouted with arms upraised and appended with a hearty, "AMEN."), but there are too many good stories entailed herein and I should save them for "Animal Husbandry" day. Or week. Or month?

I did already go here.

So much rich material...

Kate,

I am pelased to hear of your slight asthma attack. It confirms that you experienced the viewing of the "dog" just as I did for the first time early on Sunday morning. It is always easier to have others share in your pain, don't you think?

I read you Sept 05 post/link, I'm thinking I saw that in a movie years ago. Can't remember anything about it though...Dang it's bugging me.

Anonymous Author Profile Page said:

Dear Deborah,

It SHOULD be in a movie, though I don't think it is (it evokes Deliverance just the slightest bit - but I stress the SLIGHTEST aspect). Most of my brother's "animal science" classes and experiences should be in a movie.

When you train in Kansas you are privileged to do the large-animal-James-Herriot-stick-your-arm-up-a-cow part of the veterinary spectrum (not to be confused with speculum). And just to be “neighborly,” and because you’ve been trained how, you evidently will castrate bulls on a regular basis (I’m still not going to be more explicit about “nut fries” just yet, but we’re getting closer).

And because Charles is who he is, and because he’s working at a vet clinic, too, I have received completely unexplained “pix” messages with - uhm? - animal images. They should be in a movie. When he explains them afterwards you find it’s a rabbit in the middle of surgery (all splayed out on the table with its entrails exposed) and a large dog on its side with instruments stuck up its… Well, I think you get the picture.

Kate

August 2008

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