Englishman in New York

As I've mentioned, I prefer that my clothing be fabricated (ha) of either natural fibers, or scientific blends (ones with a high SPF, and/or wicking properties, and/or built-in insect repellant, and/a place to rig your fishing rod - I have one of those so don't think I'm just yanking your chain - and/or powers to defy the laws of time and gravity (especially in regards to Kepler's gravitational laws because he was SOOO obsessed with the planets)). I just want the basics.

Whilst in Maryland/D.C./dipping into Virginia, David and Julianne were very amused by my "science" garb. Rightly so; I deserved some good-natured ribbing about my high-tech attire. So if I happened to mention that I was wearing a "science" shirt they would ask, "Does it do thus and such?" or "Can your shirt fix the car?" and so on. But here's the thing: The question they asked most consistently was, "Does it make toast?" Yes, toast.

I like toast as much as the next person (though LIGHTLY done, thank you very much), but I do not understand how whether or not something makes toast became the gold standard by which one must evaluate of the performance of highly technological apparati (I don't care - I know it's not a word, but I don't LIKE the term "apparatuses").

If they (they being the very clever scientists who may or may not have questionable habits when it comes to personal hygiene, though that's not particularly germane to the topic - I just want you to get a feel for "them"), build a wondrous new microscope that can magnify sub-sub-SUB-atomic particles (I guess that would be "The Babies of Quark Babies?" I'm a little out of the loop here) I am not convinced that the first thing the Nobel Prize Committee would ask would be, "Does it make TOAST?"

And were they (being the scientists) to answer, "Uhm, NO," I do not believe the Nobel Prize Committee would turn on its heels and say, "Well then. The prize goes to Ron Popeil for his newest version of the Popeil Pocket Fisherman which is not only a MIRACLE of recreational ultra-high-tech fishing science - BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE - it also makes toast (and is available with an optional bagel slot)."