Self-Surgery
Just because one determines they have designed a medical strategy that incorporates Universal Precautions and therefore have designated it as a "sterile surgical" procedure does not mean that it should be performed.
In my bathroom.
By me.
On my own face.
I am not a doctor, nor have I ever played one on TV. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever played a physician on stage either - a man, a pirate, severally mentally insane individuals (type-casting), and a myriad of other lively characters - but no doctor.
I did have a Fisher-Price® doctor's kit, but I don't know where it is, and the one they sell now looks like cheap knock-off crap.
9 Comments
Bloggity Blah Blogs
Tiny Pineapple Dynasty
Some Siblings
Other Family
Friends I've Met
Friends I've Yet to Meet
Others...
Other Links
Affiliations - Buy CHEESE?
Technical
WTF is it now??
No permanent damage, but thank you for your deep sympathy and concern.
First Bananas in Pyjamas, now this -- you've succeeded in ruining my breakfast TWICE.
(I'm very very sorry about whatever it is you did to yourself, and I hope it heals very quickly.)
(Also, I once excised a white mole on my scalp with my fingernails -- now it's a reddish-pink mole. Thankfully only visible when my hair parts itself just so. There, now I've taken my stab at ruining *your* breakfast.)
Dear Zina,
I'm very sorry about your breakfast. I will make this prescription (though, please remember, I'm not ACTUALLY a doctor): DO NOT read this blog during or before or generally too close in proximity to breakfast time.
As I believe I've mentioned before, I like taking the over-the-counter liquid nitrogen tools to moles, warts, mystery bumps - you name it. This does not always have the intended effect. But it's COOL SCIENCE.
That reminds me. Janet used to take her friends at BYU to my Dad to have him remove their moles with liquid nitrogen. Having worked in the lab and having taken the GIANT dewar to be refilled with the stuff I'm not sure how he went about it. I do know that he invented some sort of "release" form so that he was not accountable if he accidentally froze off someone's limb or whatnot.
Dear Terry,
I realize that I sounded REALLY snarky. I only intended to sound pseudo-snarky.
HEARTS AND KISSES ALL AROUND!!!
P.S. There was a sterile syringe involved.
"I do know that he invented some sort of "release" form"
LOL!
Mabel just had a science-themed birthday party (her idea) and I was very bummed that Dean followed BYU protocols by not bringing liquid nitrogen to the party. (We did come up with lots of other fun ideas, though.)
Go Mabel!
Don't tell her this, but my Dad broke THAT rule all the time. We had awesome Koolaid.
I just read that again. My Dad brought DRY ICE home sometimes and we'd put it in Koolaid and whatnot).
He never did bring liquid nitrogen home, though he was known upon occasion to put SERIOUSLY professional-strength sulfuric acid down the drains...
Hey Kate: my mom & dad have the old Fisher-Price kit if you'd ever like to borrow it. A few gentle reminders, though:
1.) The shot needle holds no liquids, nor does it really have any sort of needle.
2.) The stethoscope still has the ORIGINAL SPONGE MAGIC AMPLIFIER and REALLY WORKS!
3.) The medicine bottle is empty. (I've looked.)
4.) The ear-nose-throat lighted looker-thingy has no light. Nor does it magnify.
5.) The Magic of Jumpy Reflexes is The Trick That Never Gets Old. Great for entertaining tots...unless they hammer away at your knee for a half-hour and render you lame.
6.) There is no means of sterilization whatsoever included in this kit. Which is probably a good thing because then none of us would have children.