Afflicted by Affiliations

If you have, perchance, glanced over at my ever overpopulated sidebar, you might have noticed some new banners. I must admit, I've gone a little "affiliate" crazy. And it's INSANITY for certain, as I've not made a single penny off any affiliation thus far.

Yet, before you think my current obsession is TOO loony cuckoo-bananas, please bear in mind that it's at least THEMATIC. In fact, it's cheese themed. If that's not appropriate for this site, I don't know what it (I really DON'T know what is, but let us ignore that fact for the moment).

I shall further explain ("You SHALL?" they ask, their mouths agape in incredulity). Oh, SHUT UP. Here's the thought process: I am already an affiliate of CheeseSupply.com, where you can fill all your exotic cheese fantasies (NOTE: I'm not putting links for the sites for which I'm affiliate because I want you to use the SIDEBAR BANNERS; they are not just aesthetically pleasing, they are FUNCTIONAL). I am also an affiliate at BarnesandNoble.com, where you can purchase cheese tomes and cheese music and cheese films to your heart's content (and if you think that I cannot suggest cheese music and films, you are sorely mistaken).

Now I've added some affiliations to make your fromage reference library complete. You see, if you visit my History Channel link (which also links to other A.&E. Channels, including the Discovery Channel) you could choose films or merchandise related to the world of cheese and cheese history. Very cool.

Then, at Sur La Table you can provide for all you cheese appliance and utensil needs that aren't fulfilled at CheeseSupply.com. They have a wondrous and extensive collection of slicers and knives and plates and guides and fondue pots and more, MORE, MORE (wow - blast from the past that I shall not endeavor to explain just now). Lastly, I must provide information for your travel needs; there are so many prime cheese destinations! Until I instigate my "Tour of the World Through Cheese," which would entail me getting my first passport and everything, we'll stick to the more holistic but reliable travel guide - Zagat. For a low, LOW price you can get approximately a trillion reviews and recommendations (I am, perhaps, misquoting just a tad) for a blissful travel experience. Now you are all set!

I feel I should now mention the one negative experience in my recent affiliation bender. Harry & David TURNED MY APPLICATION DOWN. Nope - they did not want ME as their affiliate. I am, apparently, not posh enough for their tastes (this vendor who sells a product called "MOOSETRACKS" at greatly inflated prices). I was loathe to provide a link to their site, but I am a good web citizen - SO THERE.

Come ON, Harry & David; you have an OUTLET STORE. I have been there. AND I have been to your full-price posh mall store, too. AND I get your catalog.

Well, you'll just have to get someone ELSE to feature your "Deluxe Pearsnapples and Cheese" gift collection. By the way, H & D, "Pearsnapples" is a STUPID term. It makes it sound like you've come up with some fancy new genetic hybrid and you've named it BADLY; IF you had a hybrid I think that "Apears," "Pearpples," "Papples," "Applears," or even "Pearapple" would be far superior monikers. As it is, you are evidently too POSH to accept me as an affiliate, and you are too fancy-schmancy to follow through and use the label "Pears n' Apples." Snots.

All noted turophiles know that it's YOUR loss, H & D.