Just for Grettir
The other night, while "channel-surfing" (which I don't often do, as I grew up with Charles and his attention-deficit version of channel-surfing which is enough to make one dizzy and nauseated - it's almost psychedelic), I happened across a repeat of a Conan O'Brien show featuring Kate Beckinsale (ÜBER-WENCH), and she was completely charming (curse her). Conan said that he'd heard that she's a performer who hates to watch her own movies. She validated this as truth in a self-deprecating manner with just the right soupçon of charisma and allure incarnate. I hate her. In a nice way.
She said that she was well-aware that she had "huge teeth." Hmmm. Pearly white, PERFECT teeth (and she's BRITISH). She then recounted an anecdote (CHARMING, of course) in which her husband had recently coerced her into watching something she'd been in. She maintained that she was horrified:
I looked like a giant, militant, lesbian squirrel.
Now this is FUNNY, too. I detest her. And I don't know that it's in a nice way...
Then she said:
My head is gigantic; it's like Easter Island
Ha! Now this one I can trump. I'll show HER a ginormous head. Easter Island? Phhhht. I have a noggin like the Great Pyramid of Giza. Take THAT, other Kate.
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It must be a Lee thing, these ginourmous heads. Elena and Harper are both in the 75th% for head circumfrence, and Heather's is huge (although she is quite tall also, so doesn't look weird), and mine (unfortunately or fortunately, haven't decided) is actually NOT all hair, and Erica can rarely find a hat that fits her, haha.
Also, there was an account executive who came into my office about a year ago who had a head so freakin' huge I couldn't even concentrate on what he was saying - I actually called Tom after he left and said his head was as big as an Easter Island statue! Hahaha. After that he got to be known as Easter Island Man around the office.
Oh no, Elena is not merely 75th percentile for head circumference, she's 90th. She fluctuates between 80 and 99. Which makes her a bobble-head since she is so tiny otherwise. She gets it from both sides though.
The moment I knew my head was big was when on the Daily Show they did the story about the kid whose head was too big for a standard-sized football helmet and his head was 26" in circumference. This inspired Ammon and me to measure our heads (sounds unnecessarily dirty) because the guy's head didn't look that big to us. Turns out we have the exact same sized heads as each other, but still smaller than that dude (ours are 23 1/4 inches). You should measure yours!!! Actually, I must confess that when I first saw that Daily Show, I thought the football player looked like David.
One other big head story-- my mom bought me a hat and everyone at work made fun of her because it was so huge and they said it would never fit me. She thought it would fit because it was only slightly too big for her and she has a big head too apparently. So she sent it to me for Christmas and it fit PERFECTLY. Which was an amazing thing because when we went to a Kentucky Derby party once and were to wear hats, I had a fit because NONE of the hats in the department store, not even men's, fit my noggin.
OK, one more thing - for Jennette-- "head, pants, now!"
My Beloved Cousins,
I, too, have measured my head before (and had it professionally measured a time or two - which could sound dirty if you squinted and shook your head when you read this (?)) but I could not remember the circumference.
So I just attempted to measure it again. I should say that it's easier to measure someone else's head and vice versa. That is why my results are no doubt slightly imprecise. But what do you know: My head is either 23 and 1/4 inches in circumference or 23 and 1/2 inches in circumference.
I've joked in a number of circumstances and said that of course I must have a giant cranium in which to store all those brains (like at this wig fitting), but I'd posit that applies much more to Heather and to Ammon. I think now, perhaps, that I must be utilizing parts of my head as mucus overflow containers, as I've exceeded the capacity of all my sinus cavities.
I wish I'd seen that Daily Show. It no doubt DID look like David:
*grunt* Is she supposed to be a good actress? I have no idea. Although I like any woman who calls herself Kate.
I find it so much cuter than, say, Catherine Zeta-Jones or whatever her name is, which is too pretentious for me even to retain.
Kate. Kate is always a strawberry blonde with a cute nose and, possibly, freckles.
La Beckinsale looks like a Barbie Doll.
Yes, I feel cruel. Just call me Cruella DeVille.
The problem is, if she stunk up the screen, I wouldn't have to hate her (in a nice way). And she's much more lovely when not dressed in the "premiere" style make-up necessary when one poses for five hundred photographs.
Still, BITCH.
Right after I posted, I realized it seemed really Mark Foley-esque: MEASURE IT.
But I'm quite impressed. Be sure to get someone else to do it for you too, for maximum results.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmm...Kate.
That's so SWEET, Grettir; thank you!
Oh. Wait. You don't mean KATE you mean mmmmm...Kate. How nice for her.
bitch
Try talking to an elephant. You think you have problems with fittings.