Say HELLO to My Leetle Frien'!*
As it is not EVERYDAY you accuse one's child of being a possible cugine, especially one of your SISTER'S children, so I sent Janet the following email:
Okay, first of all, don't be offended because I said on my blog that Anders might have mob ties. It's really funny - I PROMISE.
Also, even if I'm a very bad sister, I think you should share ALL your Costco albums with me so I can see all the cute pictures of your family. Please? Especially since of every 50 or so pictures Dad takes, 47 are blurry.
Your Bad Sister,
Who you should love ANYWAY because she is a Child of God,
KateP.S. No guilt trip or anything. :-)
Okay, I was ALSO trying to wrangle a bunch of photos from her...
Do you think I twisted the knife just a little too far with the "because she is a Child of God?" Hmmm. Nothing like exploiting someone's obligations to benevolence.
Her response follows. I think she has a rather lilting à la Virginia Woolf stream-of-consciousness style. Moreover, she didn't write this email in all SHOUTING CAPS, as she is sometimes wont to do (I tell you, it's GENETIC):
I am so offended. Not because you insinuated he had ties but because you failed to recognize him as the mod [sic] boss which is what he really is. That is funny that you referred to him as that because mom bought him a somewhat unattractive baby outfit last year. It was basically a velour jogging suit with a bear on it and it zipped up. My friend Amy would always call him boss and tell me to buy him some gold chains. I'll send you the albums when I get a chance.
Well, there you have it. My suspicions were very well founded.
Hereafter, forever, please refer to Anders as "The Boss." Now, as he grows up, we can patiently wait for the day when he becomes Capo di tutti capi. I know Janet and Erik will be so proud.
*Yes, I stole this from Terry, as it was just too good. Oh - please call her "Cougar."
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Hardy har, Kate.
Lately, this cougar is more likely to bare her incisors than anything else.
I still hate the world, except for you.
Oh, Cougar,
"You MUST feel better," she says, even though she knows it makes her a BIG FAT HYPOCRITE! But a sincere BIG FAT HYPOCRITE.
There's no law that actually says we HAVE to feel better. Good thing, or I know a couple of people right HERE who'd be in jail for a few years.
That said, I do feel better, as I mentioned in an email I just sent to you 8 minutes ago.
Oh, and I had two guys make eye contact today. No, three. But... nary a one I'd look twice at, even drunk out of my mind.
So this cougar is 0-3 for now.