Authentic Animal Science Quotes - MOOOOOOO!

September 20, 2005 5:26 PM | Permalink

WARNING: If you are offended by frank language relating to certain aspects of the science of animal husbandry, do not read this entry. But let me tell you that you might want to anyway, because it's pretty damn funny. Besides, it's all in the interest of SCIENCE.

Asked, in all earnestness, by (apparently) a very dedicated student:

When masturbating a boar does it help to, you know, vocalize, like grunting or squealing?

The professor's reply:

It's not like I've ever gone, "Moo baby, oh yeah MOOOOO," when using an artificial vagina.

This was, as you would expect, followed by a long, uncomfortable silence.

Oh - speaking of animal husbandry, The Living Planet Aquarium is offering internships that include the following:

Naturally, they need a herpetology intern as well. And someone, evidently, needs to enrich the animals.

And speaking of enrichment - someone gave me some very interesting facts about the semen volume, phallus quirks and sexual stimulation preferences of the boar. Perhaps I'll share those another time. I will tell you that this person referred to the boar as an "evil animal."