These Days No One Knows Morse Code, Anyway

I got stuck under the bed tonight - most of me, that is (my legs stayed outside - they danced a jig and spitefully mocked the rest of my body - I've always hated my legs). Please don't ask how this occurred, exactly; I'm not sure I understand it myself. I just have one thing to say about teenagers these days (how freakin' old does THAT make me sound): they are DEAF. My fourteen-year-old nephew was in the room directly above me. I yelled (with appropriate diaphragmatic support, of course) and banged out "SOS" with a metal bed support on the metal bed frame for at a good half an hour (which was LOUD - I had to plug an ear most of the time I pounded). He didn't hear a thing. I did manage to wriggle out, obviously, but I made HIM squeeze back under the bed to fix the contraption that I was trying to fix when I unscrewed the middle support and then I couldn't get out easily without repairing it but all I could reach was a pair of socks and let's just say that a pair of socks (even if they're woolen) doesn't work as well as a wrench when you need to remove a wing nut and a plastic thing-a-ma-bob to fix the thingy (trust me, that is the technical term).

Thank god a grand piano or something didn't fall on me; I would have out of luck.