The Tiny Pineapple Gallery

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My parents had a couch made out of that same fabric…

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The cows in this postcard don’t seem to be terribly impressed by either the pineapple or the gentleman climbing it. They’re probably thinking…

Great. Another extreme fruit climber.

Hey, dude! Give it up! There was a guy here last week who scaled a mango twice that size in less than 30 seconds. Why don’t you come back when you’ve found a four-story pomegranate.

And, dude, who picked out your outfit this morning? A fundoshi probably wasn’t the best choice for this particular activity. When you come down it’ll be like sliding down a grater. It’s going to grind your butt cheeks down to the bone!

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Photoshop, Schmotoshop.

Why bother with pricey digital image manipulation tools when you can create a virtually undetectable specimen like this with nothing more than a pair of safety scissors, the grocery circular from Sunday’s paper, a couple of felt-tipped markers, and a glue stick.

And notice the faint, sketched lines on either side of the cheery observer’s gesturing arm, which adds the illusion of motion to what is already an uncanny study in superimposition, depth of field and perspective.

As an added bonus, this postcard had the following message on the reverse:

10 Aug 1973

We are having a ball.
Our room faces Diamond Head.
We’re sure eating our fill.
The weather is just beautiful.

Aloha from Hawaii,
Glen & Ida

…which appears to be some sort of vacation/travel free verse consisting of a quatrain with five words per line and adhering to the following rules:

• Line #1: An indication of your current mood.
• Line #2: A random fact about your accommodations.
• Line #3: A confession about indulging in at least one of the seven deadly sins.
• Line #4: A travel cliché.

Here’s my first attempt at the form:

24 May 2007

I really hate this place.
My room is quite small.
I’ve just been lying around.
I wish you were here.

All the best,
Grettir