“Trent.” Isn’t it time to bring this one back? No? Then I supose “Bo” will have to do. Really. Don’t even think about it - just do it. Bo.

Chaff? I shall only give you grain that has been grown, cut, threshed, separated and cleaned.

Just a taste for today. There are SEVERAL of these in my family tree: Daniel Buckley Funk. TOO cool.

Of course, you’d probably add the Lynn or the Samuelson or the Samuelson-Lynn, so I would be Daniel Buckley Funk Samuelson-Lynn. Throw in “The Third,” just for the hell of it, I say.

And a bonus: I’ve ALWAYS suggested “Eustice” as a boy’s name. No takers yet…

Wow. You are not getting much help here. Never fear; I’m chock-full o’ ideas! In fact, I have decided to give them to you a little at a time in thematic groups.

Today, I’ve gone with very traditional Welsh names (straight from my family tree).

I gather the “Ap” part means “son of,” so you can use the part preceding the “Ap” or following the “Ap”; they’re both first names, technically.

OR, go for broke and use the WHOLE THING. For instance, consider “Ifor Bach Ap Meurig Fychan Samuelson-Lynn.” I think it’s rather musical.

Also, I included a few place names with some people that I found especially interesting (and you know the whole “name your baby after a place (or a fruit)” can be very fashionable). My first choice would probably be “Lngtwgdyfrynwysg.” Remember: “Sometimes ‘Y’.”

Here goes it:

YOU’RE WELCOME!

I’m SO going to be the one who names your baby.

Today I’m just sticking with “Dirk” and “Fletcher - NOT” (sorry, Grettir - it’s just such a dog’s name). Don’t even get me started on “Satchel” (that one’s not Grettir’s fault).

“Kermit” is nice. The other Utah LIVESTRONG® delegate from Utah is named Kermit. He is in his seventies, but still…

Then one must consider “Roy,” “LeRoy,” or “LeRoid” (I coined one of those - guess which!).

FARHANG

Accent on the second syllable, Afghan, means “well bred.”

I’m just thinking you want to assiduously avoid any name that might bring about cruel taunting and scarring nicknames (“Barf-All-On-You” - I still weep).

What could they POSSIBLY do with Farhang?

cute! babies!

wallace wendell

those are cute. I probably won’t use them so you can if you want. wallace lynn. aww. wallace ewan lynn. that’s it. you cannot have recker.

Hmmm. I think “Fester.” Get all the teasing right out in the open.

Or “Puddle?” That SERIOUSLY just came to me out of the blue; I’ve never heard of a single person named “Puddle.”

Oh, wait. Toot and Puddle. Damn. But they’re pigs…

I think I called Grettir “Stinky McStinkster” the other day… I can’t imagine why I’ve not heard back from him.

HOLD THE PHONE! I cannot think of a single person (OR animal) named “Cheese.” CHEESE is awesome. And a great name, too.

Casanova?

It’s my theory that if you name your child something like “Charity” or DEFINITELY “Chastity” you are just asking for their life to be…let’s say “at odds” with their name.

Therefore, if you name you boy “Casanova,” by extrapolation of my theory he will be kind and good and pure and trustworthy and know how to poop in the woods (isn’t that the boyscout oath?).

Doesn’t anyone else CARE???? (Let’s just conveniently ignore the idea that you communicate with anyone outside of the confines of this blog entry.)

Today’s name is Tiddo. Ask Tracy Hall about this. The pronunciation is VERY important.

Clifford Brant Garret Rufus

Emilio Gunther Emery Trond Eddy Aidan Rowen Grady Leif Sebastian

Perrier (pronounced “Peru,” naturally).

hey you have my name. or i have your name. you should name your boy Warren Keith. that was my grandfathers name. Warren Keith Lynn. never got a chance to meet him. i’ve always thought it was a good strong name. good luck to ya. enjoyed the site.

Croft

Move that moniker from the middle to the front. Besides, the worst juvenile taunt I can think of is “Air-Croft.” And it would take more then your average bully-dummy to think of it.

Count Chocula

Why not?

I’d thought I might suggest “Lucky Charms,” but that is SUCH a stripper name.

Qi and/or Za

These are very high-scoring two-letter words in Scrabble®. He would always know at least one.

Van Halen

I don’t know what made me think of this…

Chester Bean

A personal favourite, but I just cannot have that many Kitten Children.

I once wrote a string quartet entitled, “I Laugh Like Chester Bean.” An actual string quartet played it once in class. It was really very bad, but a clever (or bizarre) title can rescue almost anything.

Garanimal

I think it might help bring Garanimals back. They were BRILLIANT and my Father could very much benefit from them to this very day.

Are you a little too young or do you remember them?

Humphrey

From “Humphrey Blount,” my thirteenth great-grandfather. He descends from the Blounts of Sodington and Rock, back through some Plantagenets and Beauclercs to William the Conqueror, my twenty-sixth great-grandfather (26th through that line, anyway - I can’t remember the shorter way).

“Humphrey” doesn’t sound as ferocious, but you could always say, “Humphrey who descended from the lines and loins of William the Conqueror.”

It could work.

Logi, Frosti, Jokull, Snaer, Norr & Bengt

It’s all Scandahoovian today, which means you should go probably to Ikea and eat some Swedish meatballs and perhaps purchase and assemble something from the Norrsken, Bestå Tofta, Bänkås, Skruvsta or Dave collections.

Logi Fornjotsson, Frosti Karasson, Jokull Frostasson, Snaer Jokulsson and Norr Thorrasson I bring to you from a rather ancient branch of my family tree; the first four were from first century “Finland” and Norr was a second century “King of Alfheim”in “Norway.” I’m believe as well that Frosti was “King of Kvenland,” though I cannot remember the royal status of the others.

Bengt is a more recent Swedish name scattered all throughout parts of my pedigree (The Swedish parts, ja??).

ChrisKin

It’s in the age-old tradition of “son of” and “daughter of” from so many cultures. Yes, it’s patriarchal, usually, but I chose “ChrisKin” because it make me think of Kimchi. (?)

Wait - a more collaborative effort:

Mistoria, Chrimar, Marchri or Topheria

How’s about:

Hezekiah

From Hezekiah Peck (my seventh and eighth great-grandfathers).

Lucius

From my fifth great-grandfather (you can go visit his bakery in Nauvoo - Scovil Bakery).

OR, along the lines of a former suggestion to just get ALL the teasing out and done right up front. Thus:

John Thomas Dick Peckerwood…

I think you get the idea.

If nothing else, there’s always Elvis. Elvis el Jeffe Nugent.

i have the same name as you, so i should name your child.

Robert Lynn

Pilot Conductor

Gee String

Hamlet

Schlubb Ferizacky Citizen

Mike Hunt

                            thanks for having my name,
                            Chris Lynn

If this were a contest of sheer volubility I would win.

Oh - and if it were all about CLASS I would win, too, hands down (especially with John Thomas Dick Lingam Mister Winkle Peckerwood Skippy Herr Commandant Pinga Thor).

You don’t want to know where I got some of those. Really.

We’re getting last minute here. Crunch time.

Elmo?

Hmm. Wait! I’ve got it:

E. Pissmore Fishbind

You are the baby of the family, so I think you should steal Calvin from Amy.

Coincidentally, my Father’s full name is Calvin Henry Bartholomew, Jr.

They already have ONE of his names.

P.S. My Dad’s name was “David” for at least nine months until my grandpa (Calvin Henry Bartholomew, Sr.) came home from North Africa and Fort Ritchie (WWII) and blessed my Father with HIS name (without telling anyone beforehand). They put the “fun” in “dysfunction.”

Elmo

It’s more hip than Elmer

How about Brent? Oh, wait… you never called me that. Well, you could call him Elder… you did call me that. Congratulations you two! We were excited to hear your news. -Brent

I liked Trent. But also recommend: Wyatt, Avery, Riley, Emerson (different), and Reid.

Congratulations!

Cairo Kai Otis Natas Anniken

yes i am also chris lynn…hailing from CS, CO Just googled my name and got here…good luck with the yungun!

Congrats Chris! I thought I’d find out what’s happening with you and saw that you guys are having a baby! Wow. A little Chris running around….I hope the world is ready for that.

I was just thinking about you this morning since at X-ware, yes I’m still here(don’t ask), we erased your drawing from the white board. It had a good run, it’s been on there for what has it been 8 yrs?

Good luck with the baby. Take care.