After recently viewing an exhibition of contemporary video art, I suddenly realized the sheer amount of unused video that must have been shot to complete a single piece. The video of the artist standing in the woods for a half hour must have had numerous takes necessitated by unwanted gusts of wind pelting the artist with deciduous debris, hikers wandering into the field of view, or even local fauna climbing on the camera’s tripod. The video could possibly be a shorter edit of the hours of video taken. The video of the naked couple rolling around on the white ground could not have been achieved in a single take. Any number of things could have happened, and I’m sure did in fact happen, preventing the perfect shot. My theory is that there is a veritable treasure trove of video art out-takes sitting on computers and cutting room floors.

I propose the launch of a new television program akin to America’s Funniest Videos. AFV harvests its material from the humble home video libraries of Jane and John Q. Public, who, for some reason or another, are shooting video of sheet-rock installation, their animals sleeping, and family members cutting down large trees next to their homes and cars. From these mundane activities come the guffaw-inducing scenes of AFV.

Imagine the possibilities when video artists shoot hours of video depicting less-than-mundane activities. When filming a man on fire, what wouldn’t go wrong? The naked couple rolling on the ground must have yielded a few knees-to-the-groin (always a sure-fire laugh). Matthew Barney’s prosthetic goat legs could malfunction sending him careening off screen into a lighting rig (insert car crash sound effect here). The video of a woman droning a monologue while cutting up her melon bra could possibly have squirted some tangy juice in her eye (dub Bob Saget’s high pitched comedic narrative over the droning monologue for extra oomph). Sheer comedy!

The possibilities are endless, yet there is no venue for such rich potential. To fill this gaping hole, nay, demand, I propose FVA: Funniest Video Art. Omitting the “America’s” from the title opens the show up to the world. And really, what could be funnier than a foreigner cursing because the coyote in his video shoot keeps urinating on the camera?

The host must be Robert Hughes. The tinge of his Australian accent will add an air of earthy sophistication to the clips’ narratives. Think Crocodile Hunter meets George Plympton. I suppose if a co-host is needed, we could use Yoko Ono for star power or we could ditch legitimacy entirely and get Tyra Banks for eye candy. I can be flexible. However, I must stand firm that we not use Dave Hickey — too much potty humor would ruin the nuances of the show.

I insist on being credited as the executive producer and creator but will defer directorial and editorial duty to others. I may be reached through this site for any offers you would like to make. I will close with three tantalizing words: Art School Students. Think about it.