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Amazon is Giving me a Messiah Complex

08.13.06   /   Comments.05   /   Filed Under: Pop

Having a name like Christopher, I’m used to seeing it truncated by machines. Name fields for databases seem to choke on any given name that is more than nine or ten characters. Most junk mail I receive is to “Christophe” or “Christoph” which makes me feel all French. Amazon.com can only handle the first six letters, so when I visit their site, I’m greeted with a personalized tab that in a perfect world would read “Christopher’s Store,” but instead reads:

Christ...'s Store

Move aside Jeff Bezos! I am the god of Amazon! Overnight me a JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank or I shall smite thee mightily!

Comments

Peter Abilla
no. 1 / posted 08.15.06 / 11:50 PM

You might enjoy some Amazon.com garb to go along with your god-complex.

http://www.shmula.com/169/shmulacom-amazoncom-schwag-giveaway

Enjoy!

The God of Amazon
no. 2 / posted 08.16.06 / 8:21 AM

The God of Amazon is a medium, not a large, and does not wear denim shirts. I smite thee!

western dave
no. 3 / posted 08.16.06 / 1:02 PM

Christoph-all-mighty! that rules. you rule. Did they load you up with gift certificates too?

kylie
no. 4 / posted 08.16.06 / 1:51 PM

That is so awesome.

jenny
no. 5 / posted 09.17.06 / 3:07 AM

Are you going to have any say during The Final Judgement? Because if you are, I’d better start sending care packages full of No-Bake Cookies. I’m gonna need as many votes on my side as I can get…

(P.S. If you’re really the Lord of Amazon, please send me one Madame Alexander Lawn-Gnome Doll and one copy of Tennessee Ernie Ford—Greatest Hits. I have provided links for your convenience. But if you’re the Lord of Amazon then you probably don’t need those.)

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