Diplomatic to the Core
I really should have joined the diplomatic corp.
I don’t have the ability to recognize potential areas of conflict between disparate groups. I’m not very good at figuring out the objectives and motives of the parties involved. I’m not a particularly effective or eloquent advocate for either side of an argument. And I’m lousy at helping people find areas of common ground and shared objectives.
But, while all of these would be admirable qualities to possess, tonight I was reminded that my own extraordinary gift for diplomacy lies in my unerring ability to piss off both sides of any conflict to the point that they become unified in their antipathy toward me.
Just think of the good I could do.
The 18-month standoff between North Korea and the Group of Eight industrialized nations ended today when both sides agreed that Grettir Asmundarson is a know-nothing jerk who ought to mind his own business.
That’s me. Bringing the world together, one failed mediation at a time…
