The Hapless Yellowstone Photographer Caption Contest: Winner
Well, the votes were pretty evenly distributed (almost every entry got at least one vote), but when the dust settled, Jenny’s harrowing tale of fur vs. flatus carried the day.
“Hiiiiiii-yaaaaaaaa!” Without a second’s thought, Norm flung aside his hat and camera to meet the advancing buffalo’s menacing horns with a mighty pants-splitting “Rotten Egg Special,” courtesy of the philly cheese-steak he’d had for lunch mere hours before. And not a moment too soon: for the instant he felt the beast’s hot breath upon his fanny, his own deadly “hot breath” caught in the mammoth creature’s belching nostrils like a deadly nerve gas. Rock and tree and soil shook as 2,000 pounds of raw, untamed muscle slapped the earth, the animal at once as still and dead as the stones that showered down upon its motionless carcass. Norm landed, as agile as a feline, with a soft “thump” in the long grass beside the matted, stinking fur and the still glassy eyes.
Unfortunately, her entry is so wordy that the resulting 0.75pt font size renders the whole thing unreadable. Which, in this case, is probably for the best.
Jenny should be sporting a new TP T-shirt by this time next week.
Comments
Kate
Brava, Jenny! This is why you should BLOG! I could use one of your harrowing tales every day.
Chris
Yes, Jenny, you must blog. One of us, one of us, one of us…
jenny
Blog, blog, blog, blah, blah, blah…
I’d like to thank everyone who voted for me, and especially my husband Rus, whose self-professed biliousness must have subconsciously led to the subject of my caption. And I can’t forget “Nurse In Yosemite,” which was abso-lutely ATROCIOUS, but which must have played some part in the birth of the winning piece since I was reading it at the time I wrote my entry, and my brain only has one functioning freeway.
jenny
“Hey…wait a minute! What’s that whole ‘Which, in this case, is probably for the best’ bit?! *Hmmmmmph!*” (Begins to stomp haughtily out of the room but manages to trip over the nearest throw-rug before reaching a slammable door, thus stealing much of the exit’s…uh…thunder.)
mary
Once again, the Fart Joke trumps all. Thus it has ever been; thus it shall ever be.
emily
Dear Jenny,
I would totally read you. You have another vote.
Love,
emily
renny
Um, who voted, because I preferred cschramm’s over Jenny’s. No offense Jenny, but I don’t even know you, which I guess doesn’t bother you since you don’t even know me either.