Tiny Pineapple

Ha!

Don’t even get me started. I think that the NMSS (National MS Society) has to be the worst. They’re like your PBS Deadbeat Uncle, times two. “Thank you for your generous contribution–-now, here’s another donation slip so that you can give us more, More, MORE! Mmmmwwwahhhhaahhhaaaahh!”

It’s a little known fact, but The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) has a secret budget maker who HATES children. He keeps his UNICEF job because he thinks it makes him look sympathetic and generous and he likes to pick up chicks.

I found the following information in the UNICEF Fall/Winter Catalog:

How Your Money is Spent

What they do NOT tell you is that 5% in the “Other” category goes EXCLUSIVELY into sending nickels to potential donors. That Schlub in the financial department thinks it’s HILARIOUS, as most charities who play the “put actual currency on the request letter” game only use a penny.

I say we expose him so he cannot use his cushy UNICEF job to troll for chicks anymore.

(This is the only RATIONAL explanation I can think of for this campaign.)

I’m wondering just how much the job pays for nickel insertion on the paper? someone has to do it. And have they had the same thoughts as those expressed above.

That nickel can save a child’s life because it could be used, in a pinch, as a screwdriver, to loosen an unfortunate child’s head from between the bars of a jungle gym. Studies have shown that children whose heads remain lodged between the bars of jungle gyms d not have a very high survival rate.

P.S. I mean that the bars of the jungle gym could be loosened in order to free the child’s head. Most children’s heads, themselves, do not respond favorably to being tended to with a screwdriver. Just to clarify.