Sanitized by Swisher
It started as corporate self-promotion. Those little plastic screens that you find in the bottom of urinals used to simply say:
…but it soon evolved into lifestyle advice:
Say No To Drugs
I’m sure that there were quite a few heroin addicts who were persuaded to reform after being lectured by a bathroom fixture, but I resent the rather sexist implication that urinal users are the only ones in need of drug-free advice. I hope that the tampon dispensers in the Ladies’ room carry the same words of wisdom.
Then they decided that you would take investment advice from a urinal:
A Publicly Traded Company
After hearing his colleagues brag about their portfolios all afternoon, Mr. Robertson excused himself from the table and strode toward the bathroom. “I need a new investment strategy,” he muttered under his breath. “I have an impeccably balanced portfolio with asset allocations in line with my personal goals and retirement time line, but something seems to be missing. <zip> Hmm… Perhaps the world’s leading restroom hygiene service provider holds the key to my financial future.
And now they want to lure you to their Web site:
www.swisheronline.com
…where you are greeted by a Flash animation with background music rivaling that of the finest porn films. You can also view a video presentation extolling the virtues of becoming a Swisher franchisee where they actually use the word “pilferage” and discuss the glamorous possibilities of working with such “blue chip companies” as Dunkin Donuts and AMF Bowling Centers.
Why can’t they let a urinal just be a urinal?
Comments
Lael Porter
You’ve used swisheronline and a copyrighted trademark or service mark from Swisher international.
Shouldn’t you pay them .07 cents per impression, unless you’re also using it in print, in which case you would only pay .035 cents per imp … … … … … … … . @#%#!
Oops, sorry. I guess I’ve been impacted by the CARP crap. I think I need a sanitizing service.
Grettir
I piss on their copyrighted trademark! Literally…
squatter
Wow, those people on the Swisher sure look happy! I wonder if that older couple really enjoys cleaning restrooms. They seem quite content. And I hope those people shaking hands washed up first! Ewww!
And how about that guy in the flash movie with the HazMat equipment? What the heck is he cleaning? Nuclear waste?
Thor God of Thunder
my toilet is more jazzy and quite a bit cooler then me. I guess i need to start drinking again….
jack
Now they have one with Osama’s picture on it. Have you seen these?